We haven't talked about her for a while as men, even though for every one of us in midlife crisis Tokyo Rose was the first Other Woman in our lives that our wives could do nothing about. And neither could we for a very long time.



Ah.... Tokyo Rose... I know her well. Her voice masks herself as the voice of reason in our biggest battle. She appears without welcome at the onset of midlife crisis for one purpose – to take you out! Her visit is filled with half truths about you, truths about you long past, and after we bite – outright lies about you.



Tokyo Rose shows up in the midst of our fight that we have fought hard for all of life until now. Our lives, our families, our security, our future, our homes, our principles, and our morality – all of which we held near and dear. There is not one of us who ever planned on this. None of us worked so hard at these for thirty some years thinking “one day I am going to just kibosh the entire thing with an affair!”



Who is Tokyo Rose?



Well, her voice is different in my life than in yours but her purpose is the same. Tokyo Rose was the infamous voice of propaganda during the second world war that broadcast from Japanese radio intended to reach American Soldiers. They played American music that all our boys were familiar with and interspersed it with propaganda about the war, their position, who they were, their weaknesses, their failures, and false stories about their home land. The intent was to weaken the soldiers resolve, to sadden him, to distract him from the true fight, and finally – to take him out!



Tokyo Rose was the voice of reason with just enough truth to make it believable.





In our lives, Our Tokyo Rose is the thoughts that broadcast across our minds in a bombardment of half truths and past truths about us that consumes our thoughts. They come at or turn into our darkest hours. Her first attempts are to discredit us; to overwhelm us with a sense of defeat and failure. Some of the most successful men in the world that I know who have passed through this time have said with convincing fervor how utterly complete failures they are. We swallow the propaganda! We swallow it whole! Midlife Male Depression that leads to Midlife Crisis ensues.



Midlife Crisis is often just our way of silencing Tokyo Rose.



We silence her with feel-good antidotes. We cover her with acts of bravado, risk taking, gambling, womanizing, alcohol or drugs, and all kinds of elements that are called ”midlife crisis”. The depression never really goes away as we suppose; it just goes covert. It can even feel really quite deniable!



Tokyo Rose intends to disconnect us from reality by creating an alternate reality based upon how we feel. Logic gives way to feelings as the deciding factors for our lives. We begin to describe our lives to date, our marriages, and even our work in terms of feeling. “I have been unhappy in our marriage for XX years” you may report. Or, “my affair makes me feel alive! I haven't felt this alive in years!”



The cure (for lack of a better word) is to reconnect. We must reconnect with reality on several different levels. It may even take reconnection with our marriage partner and the putting off of the affair partner. One is the real girl; the other is the fantasy girl. If it is too late to reconnect with your marriage partner you must do what you can anyway to reconnect with reality.



Finally, we need to reconnect with the higher truth. Feelings can be good markers and we love to have them but they are not dependable. They are often fickle and change with circumstance. Logic however, seeks to change the circumstance instead so that feelings may follow. It is when we speak the truth to ourselves about ourselves – who we are, what we have done, etc – that the inherent power of freedom that truth has may do its work. It is then that ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Silencing Tokyo Rose is not done by changing the dial; it is silenced with the real truth!



(For you Christian readers – truth is the belt of your armor and the second piece you don is equally as important.)

 

Often men, it is the first Other Woman we must silence before we may silence the second. Make it your goal to silence Tokyo Rose.