One Man Wrote:

What do you picture when you say “I know the kind of person I want to be"?

Is it some kind of change of who you are or is it a change in how you express your life?

Pause for a minute before you answer.



I often see these two matters get confused. I've heard some women say, “that's just the way I am” in an almost self-accepting way after some extreme behaviour. I've heard some men say “I just need to change me” in an un-accepting kind of way after some extreme behaviour. And I think that both may be very wrong in their excuses and belief.

I believe we can change things but the foundational person you are is perfectly acceptable the way it is. We all have 4 perfect human endowments that make us individually “me” and with these we can modify our expression in the world and the way we behave; they are:

1.self awareness

2.conscience

3.independent will

4.creative imagination

We get to choose how we will invest into these and how we will use them to express ourselves in the world.

I've discovered however, that we are creatures of habit and often we become addicted to certain behaviours and patters of doing things or coping with situations. It seems that bad habits and poor behaviour patterns do not require too much self-effort to build into our lives but are frequently the most difficult to rid ourselves of. If we could use this habit forming capability to our advantage though and intentionally use our 4 human endowments to form positive habits then why wouldn't we do so?

I have seen all four of the above expressed in your posts in, quite frankly, a unique and powerful way that a lot of us might have to work at!

At this point though you feel stuck in a rut or a revolving door and if you only had a GPS you could navigate your way out. I think you are right; that is self-awareness at work! But I also think you have the GPS but you just aren't seeing it right now. You showed your GPS in your words above: “I know the kind of person I want to be” and that is a HUGE place to be in – knowing the destination in order to key it into the GPS. You are already beginning with the end in mind! This is your vision!

I have a GPS too and its a wonderful tool but sometimes I just want to kick it out the door. We have named the voice “mrs doubtful” because although I have the MAP right in front of me she is always SHOUTING “recalculating” in that tone of voice that is too damned patient when I'm impatient! AAAARRRRRGH!

Life, and Midlife transition is just too much like my GPS “mrs doubtful” - I have the direction I need but too often go straight when I should have turned left. Then I get to recalculate (when I finally get over myself for not taking the right turn) and make three right-hand turns around the block to correct the missed left I was supposed to go on! The straight line between point A and point B is seldom travelled that way for me. It seems I tend to learn shit the hard way with a lot of hard knocks when everyone else just gets to turn left when they should! Its a DAMNED pain!

But then... my posts would be shorter!
I wouldn't even be here if I made the correct turns in time! That could be a good thing though – huh?!

So anyway......... if I could hit the + sign on your GPS screen right now so we could see it better here is what we would see... You need to write it down so you remember it better! Write out that destination you have in mind, put it on paper. Just write it out furiously at first because you can modify it later on. Just get it down! After you write it out – save it. Read it next day or next week and the beginning of every week. Make a habit of reviewing it.

There is a powerful energetic thing that occurs when you write it on paper. Some folks contend that they don't need to write it because its already in their head. Yes, and a lot of other shit is too if you are in midlife! If you write it out you can review it and make changes to it. When you write it begin a second page and list out those values Phae was talking about. They are the impetus that move you toward fulfilling your vision.

This is the time to start and as long as you are in that revolving door anyway, you wont be going off track any time soon so take advantage of this time!

The steps that follow come after.



“Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. ”~ Habakkuk 2