IMS - What is it?
Jed Diamond defines "Irritable Male Syndrome": A state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity.
IMS is incredibly common.
In Men’s Health Magazine, over 10,000 men filled out 2 questionnaires to find – up to 30% of men experience it. Clinical Associate Professor of Urology, Christopher Steidle of the Indiana University School of Medicine says “This is a male version of PMS, or premenstrual syndrome”. Larrian Gillespie, MD, an expert in treating men and women going through hormonal changes, agrees. “Under the circumstances of stress and particular dietary changes, men exhibit symptoms of Irritable Male Syndrome, much like women do with PMS.”
Are You A Man With IMS? Are You Living with an IMS man?
If you’re a man you may be aware that life is more stressful than it should be. At times you may feel that the hassles of life are more than you can take. You think you should be able to handle things, but you sometimes think how nice it would be to get away from it all. You can’t understand why all your efforts to make things better seem to have the opposite effect. You’re tired of feeling that nothing you do is right.
It seems that the people you most rely on are no longer on your side. People at work seem more adversarial than supportive. Old friends may have dropped away or are no longer as close. Your children treat you differently and you may have lost connection and contact. Your wife seems to withdraw from you sexually. Where she used to feel warm and cuddly, she now seems cold and prickly. She seems to nitpick at the smallest thing you do or forget to do. It’s increasingly difficult to relax around her. You feel guarded and protective, but also lonely and misunderstood. You too long to have the kind of relationship where you can relax and enjoy the ease of intimacy you seem to have lost.
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If you are living with an IMS man you may feel you are losing the person you most love and care about. Your sex life is probably not good. There is often tension in your love-making and even when there is passion and excitement, something is missing. What you miss even more than the enjoyment and comfort of lovemaking is the feeling of safety and intimacy you once felt. The gentle touches and warm smiles are distant memories. Where he used to feel warm and cuddly, he now seems cold and prickly. You may feel you are on an emotional roller-coaster, whipped up and down and side to side. There are times you’d just like to get out and walk away, but you remember how things used to be and long for what you hope can still be in the future. You probably feel hurt and you likely feel lonely. You long to get the man back who you loved and used to know.
